Tag Archives: inner child




– Sandy Powers, Life Coach since 1998

    One thing I do know beyond a shadow of doubt is the importance of tending to unresolved deep, deep, childhood pain. Pain has many sources, the loss of a parent at an early age, abuse emotionally or physically, abandonment, a parent with a personality disorder/mental illness, school bullies, the list is endless.

Pain seeps into every relationship in some form or fashion that is why tending to it is a worthy cause. The walls we build around our pain help us make it through life, but at some point they become the very thing that block us from feeling the connection and love we long for and deserve.

This summer has anchored into me my commitment to serve childhood pain. I want to honor it, listen to it, to ease the way for others, as those I serve learn to love themselves more deeply than they ever have and set their child within free to play, to enjoy, to experience life in ways never dreamed possible.

Healing happens a teaspoon at a time. Our bodies know how much we can handle and what a blessing that is. Some pain is so deep, so horrific, it may have to stay buried in order to have some semblance of quality life. But for those of us able to identify inner wounds and heal, life opens anew.

Please, please, please know healing is possible. There are professionals in your community to help ease the way. There are books, videos, safe friends, and many other resources. You are worth it. Don’t let your pain win. Be a victor and not a victim. You’ve been a victim for far too long.

Life is good even when it doesn’t feel like it. You have within you the power to make it good, to create a life different from the one you live.




 We are ignorant to how often the mind plays negative thoughts. The mind operates on emotion. Whatever the emotion of the moment is, it reacts to. Pay attention to your emotions and you will know what needs healing.

 We heal when it’s time. We do it willingly or unwillingly. Many times it takes a tragic life event to begin the deep inner work needed for the degree of well-being we long for and deserve.

     As adults we minimize our childhood trauma and tend to justify our past. We even go so far as to give the original abuser an excuse, like, ‘they did the best they could with the tools they had’ or ‘I understand why they did what they did, they had a bad childhood themselves’ or ‘they’re a different person now’ and the list goes on. We do it because we think that’s what adults do. When that happens an opportunity to heal is missed and we bury our pain deeper.

 We were born with the ability to break any dysfunctional cycle passed down from generations past. Addiction, depression, poverty, are only a few of the cycles you can break. The heart is sacred. It is where unlimited compassion resides. It holds the seeds for healing. Courage, self-confidence, self-worth, are ready to be developed to help you reach your full potential.

 When you break a cycle it is broken for future generations. When you heal, you heal the future. Heart work never serves only one purpose there is always a win/win involved. You win by healing, and, those who come after you will not have to face the same pain you have suffered.

 To begin ask yourself: What emotion shows up when you’re feeling down, scared, or uneasy? When that emotion is present what negative tapes do you play in your head? What words do you use? Write them down then pause. Look at them with the eyes of compassion. Hold each word in your heart and when it’s time ask yourself why, where did these thoughts come from?

 Listen. Love. Heal.

 Set an intention to heal. Do the work. Break a cycle. Set yourself and future generations free.

 -Sandy Powers, Life Coach since 1998





To heal is to be reborn. Birth involves labor. Labor pries us open using its mighty force. All along the way we resist because of the pain. Our energy is depleted. Our mind and our feelings are in constant battle. What we know and how we feel seem they will never reconcile. Drained we doubt the process and ask ourselves, “Is this worth it? What am I doing?”

Peace and joy take work. Self-awareness shows us what to observe and question. If what we look at aligns with the quality of life we desire, okay, if not, the moment of intentional change presents itself.

Intentional change takes strong tools we believe in, tools that give us confidence. With strong tools in hand we jump off the cliff leaving what we’ve known and used for years, into the desire of a different life.

What are the tools we use to make it possible for intentional change? Whatever we’ve gathered to create the belief peace and joy are possible. It might include books we’ve read, stories we’ve heard from others who have gone through the process and now live a more peaceful and joyful life. It will include things we’ve identified that help us in the midst of stress, for instance, meditation, reflection, nature, silence, laughter, counselors, safe friends, support group, spiritual community, life coaches, doctors, and other healers of various kinds. Anything that has deepened our understanding and belief that peace and joy are possible becomes a tool for the healing process.

Energy management is essential. Self-awareness shows us where we use our energy. How we use it once we’re aware becomes a choice. Being drained doesn’t disappear during healing labor. We will be drained, but what drains is what we can change. Energy can be used like we’ve always used it, or used for our rebirth. Both are exhausting, but the later leads to a new outcome.

When we set an intention to heal it is because we know in the core of our being another way of living is possible. The commitment to the process is up to us. Some tire of the process and only make it so far, that’s okay. One day they will start again.

To reach our desired goal we will be drained. We won’t feel like we are making progress. We will feel depleted. But remember, feelings are temporary, they come and go like clouds on a windy day.

This is the process of retraining our mind. To do this we must do it again and again and again. It will take our focus, our energy, and our time. But there will be a day when the retraining stops because we have healed. The energy used by that painful part of our self will be set free.

When we heal our wounds peace and joy abound!

  • Sandy Powers, Life Coach