Tag Archives: healing

Thoughts to Ponder

Why is it so hard to quit things that aren’t good for you? How come bad habits have so much control?

Why don’t I follow through more often when my still small voice warns me that what I’m about to do is nuts? Why, even when I hear what’s good for me do I say at times screw it and do it anyway, then regret it, feel shame, and start the cycle again?

When will I listen? Why does good change take so long? Why do I get restless, bored, so easily and quit?

Why am I more comfortable doing nothing? Why can’t I follow through on what I know is good for me?Why do I continue allowing dysfunction to win?Why is it easier to stay in my comfort zone then grow?

Why when I really really want to change do I fall back into my same routine only thinking about but not taking action?

Why am I so weak? What’s wrong with me? Why do I always fail? 

After a lot of ongoing work I’ve boxed up these questions and put them on the top shelf in my closet. I’ll never completely make them disappear.


Luckily I’m better at not letting the questions stop me from healing my wounds and moving forward. 

Luckily I’ve proven to myself I am resilient. I am courageous. I am strong. I am loving and lovable. Heck I survived hell didn’t i? 

Luckily I can and do move beyond pain, using my loss as a catalyst for healthy change.

Luckily I know feelings come and go like the wind. They don’t last forever.

Luckily I know I haven’t even tapped my full potential. I can feel it inside and I’m working my behind off to develop it, to give it a chance.

Luckily every time I take healthy action for my well being I know it changes my life for the good. It works. Yes it takes it old sweet time it feels like at times, but if I can hang on and quit being impatient it works.

Luckily now a days the questions pretty much stay on the shelf and don’t mess with me as often. Sure at times they fall off the shelf, but only on days I’ve eaten too much, or didn’t get enough sleep, or said yes too many times when no was the healthier response.

Luckily I’m kinder to myself. I get I’m human and as a human there’s no getting out of screwing up once in a while, and that those in my life will screw up once in a while, there’s no getting around that striving to be perfect opens the door for suffering. I finally get it and accept it. I give myself a break and others too more often.

I know my mind is relieved knowing the heart is finally in charge. Sure it doesn’t like the unknown. It hasn’t figured out the “why” stepping into the unknown when the heart says jump works. But the more I do it the more the mind relaxes and helps me just jump.

I love it how the heart and head tag team support and stop me from allowing doubt and fear to stop me in my tracks.

I am getting better each day. I know the questions will never completely disappear, but they don’t bug me as much!

Life is good. Even the mini hells I move through faster.

I am grateful.



What a magnificent time we live in. As much hate, corruption, hurtful & judgmental behavior social media vomits there is HOPE.

I witness daily human beings making a difference dedicated to living life from their heart. Their journey is not easy. Despite the flood of negativity they are not fooled.

They easily spot the crazed beast with its many disguises that tries wrapping its ugly tentacles around them sucking them down deep into a vortex of confusion, hopelessness, and hate.

These spiritual warriors see beyond the fear and are changing the world by training their minds to be led via their heart. They know, because of the inner work they’ve done, they were born to help end suffering. As their awareness has heightened, their ability to risk stepping into uncharted territories has grown.

Compassion, empathy, acceptance of others, love, new ideas to heal the planet, are taking root all over the world and in places you’d least expect it. Heart-led actions for healing are occurring every day.

If you’ve been discouraged don’t be. We have the capacity to step out of dark thoughts and into the light, every one of us.

Today be a cycle breaker, start the inner work it takes. Be a spiritual warrior and walk your values proudly. Be a model of well being to others. Be a change maker for the good.

How? Offer a kind word, a gentle smile, recognize how hard the clerk in the store, the waitress or wait person, the maid, your co-worker, colleague, works and tell them how much you appreciate them. Start small and watch your kindness grow becoming a habit. You are changing your community for the better.

But always beware of the crazed beast of negativity. If you recognize its presence tear off its tentacles. Its greatest talent is to try and squeeze out hope and twist our mind into a million anxious depressing thoughts.

Let’s join with those who see beyond fear and become determined to be a flashlight for our Creator.

Good is happening. The more good you see the more good you will see. 



Our first breath was a gift from God. Imagine the power of that Divine Love able to awaken us into this world. That Love is in us and always has been. For years we walked around not realizing it’s even there or the purpose and power of its presence.

We have within us a Love that far surpasses our emotional love. Many times we don’t know it’s there because we’re caught up in the pains of the past or situations where we feel powerless. But it’s there, we’re still breathing, it will always be a part of us.

The spiritual journey is about remembering and discovering this powerful gift given at birth by the One who makes this earth shake.

To develop the awareness of this Love is a worthy cause. Via that awareness we become a beacon of light for God. The more inner work we do to clean up our emotional house and gather self-care resources the brighter the Light shines forth.

What a blessing it is to serve self and others in this capacity. So simple yet so hard. It takes work, we’re human, but it’s always there ready for our embrace. Know matter how it feels in the moment no one can take this gift from us. This Love is beyond feelings.

Today allow yourself to be the sunrise in someone’s darkened world. Love. Shine forth.

Sandy Powers, Life Coach

A spiritual practice is not about eliminating every perceived negative, but about recovery from the emotions they cause by tapping into the heart where the Sacred dwells. It’s about how quick we come back into balance after falling hard into the pit of helplessness.

Dedication to my practice is ongoing. When things are going good is when my best work is done. When I’m not under the weight of a negative I am able to develop and anchor in a multitude of self-care resources that I can lean on when things hit the fan.

Life is life. We are human. We are the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are hit with pain and suffering by things outside of us and we are also the cause pain and suffering to self and others. If we can step back and quit judging our behavior and hammering in how awful we are there’s an opportunity to turn an awful situation into a healing experience. No one is perfect, no one can escape negative emotions, so lighten up, recognize you’re human, and get on with it.

The not so fun emotions are not bad guys. They are only parts of us screaming for attention. The longer we ignore their voices the louder they scream. When we listen beyond the obvious reason for the flare up we’ll find there is more to the story. It is never just about what’s happened, inevitably it’s linked to some ugly experience we wanted to forget from the past.

Remember triggers abound. There is no escape, but we can minimize our triggers by paying attention to our emotions, our feelings, and get to work and heal.

Why, is the quintessential question that becomes our personal Sherlock Holmes. Why? Why? Why? Why keeps us digging within. When triggered I constantly remind myself there’s more to the story, keep going and usually without fail I find some past hurt that carries a like energy. When I get to the bottom of it, it’s liberating.

Spiritual work, is about listening, finding the calm within, and figuring out how to access it. When we do our lives are filled with more peace and joy. With more peace and joy, we win, those around us win, our community wins, and so does the world.

Life is good even the negatives.
Sandy Powers, Life Coach




It is a direct connect to the heart where the deepest wisdom is found.

Building a Compassionate listening practice requires three components.

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-knowledge
  3. Self-care

Benefits of these three components.

  1. More peace and joy.
  2. Get needs met.
  3. Self-confidence.
  4. Self-healing.
  5. Healthy boundaries.
  6. Ability to get raw and real with self and others.
  7. Healthier relationships.

Self- Awareness

  • Reduces negative self-talk
  • Motivates to build new coping tools.
  • Identifies areas that need healing.
  • Starts the process of moving from victim to victor.
  • Helps you to quit beating yourself up.
  • Makes you aware of habits that don’t serve.


  • Shows you where a habit or belief started and gives you an opportunity to see if it still fits with your life today, or if it needs to be changed.
  • Gives understanding and compassion to areas of yourself you may have judged harshly.
  • Offers an opportunity to remove guilt and shame.
  • Reflection and contemplation increase self-knowledge which allows healing to occur.


  • Raises toleration.
  • Allows the virtues of patience, compassion, and love to flourish.
  • Increases times of happiness, peace, and joy.
  • Creates space for awareness to take priority.
  • Gives you more energy to offer self and others.

Benefits of Self-Love

  • Healthier coping skills
  • Knowing love is strong not weak.
  • Healthy boundaries.
  • Healthy relationships.
  • Relationships are transformed.
  • Unhealthy relationships fall away on their own.
  • Healthy relationships deepen.
  • Intimacy and connection is felt by both parties.

Next steps

  • Create a daily practice.
  • Work with a friend who will hold you accountable.
  • Hire a Life Coach or Counselor to help you in each area.
  • Join a group, or find a way to practice with others who are working on living authentically.


The above is from a program I facilitate – Mastering the Art of Compassionate Listening. It is my hope this handout will take your Compassionate Listening skills to the next level.

The goal of becoming a Master Compassionate Listener is to connect to self, and others on a deep level. Respect, understanding, and compassion are three qualities this type of listening increases.

Compassionate listening serves all relationships and increases the quality of your life.

Sandy Powers, Life Coach




– Sandy Powers, Life Coach since 1998

    One thing I do know beyond a shadow of doubt is the importance of tending to unresolved deep, deep, childhood pain. Pain has many sources, the loss of a parent at an early age, abuse emotionally or physically, abandonment, a parent with a personality disorder/mental illness, school bullies, the list is endless.

Pain seeps into every relationship in some form or fashion that is why tending to it is a worthy cause. The walls we build around our pain help us make it through life, but at some point they become the very thing that block us from feeling the connection and love we long for and deserve.

This summer has anchored into me my commitment to serve childhood pain. I want to honor it, listen to it, to ease the way for others, as those I serve learn to love themselves more deeply than they ever have and set their child within free to play, to enjoy, to experience life in ways never dreamed possible.

Healing happens a teaspoon at a time. Our bodies know how much we can handle and what a blessing that is. Some pain is so deep, so horrific, it may have to stay buried in order to have some semblance of quality life. But for those of us able to identify inner wounds and heal, life opens anew.

Please, please, please know healing is possible. There are professionals in your community to help ease the way. There are books, videos, safe friends, and many other resources. You are worth it. Don’t let your pain win. Be a victor and not a victim. You’ve been a victim for far too long.

Life is good even when it doesn’t feel like it. You have within you the power to make it good, to create a life different from the one you live.




 We are ignorant to how often the mind plays negative thoughts. The mind operates on emotion. Whatever the emotion of the moment is, it reacts to. Pay attention to your emotions and you will know what needs healing.

 We heal when it’s time. We do it willingly or unwillingly. Many times it takes a tragic life event to begin the deep inner work needed for the degree of well-being we long for and deserve.

     As adults we minimize our childhood trauma and tend to justify our past. We even go so far as to give the original abuser an excuse, like, ‘they did the best they could with the tools they had’ or ‘I understand why they did what they did, they had a bad childhood themselves’ or ‘they’re a different person now’ and the list goes on. We do it because we think that’s what adults do. When that happens an opportunity to heal is missed and we bury our pain deeper.

 We were born with the ability to break any dysfunctional cycle passed down from generations past. Addiction, depression, poverty, are only a few of the cycles you can break. The heart is sacred. It is where unlimited compassion resides. It holds the seeds for healing. Courage, self-confidence, self-worth, are ready to be developed to help you reach your full potential.

 When you break a cycle it is broken for future generations. When you heal, you heal the future. Heart work never serves only one purpose there is always a win/win involved. You win by healing, and, those who come after you will not have to face the same pain you have suffered.

 To begin ask yourself: What emotion shows up when you’re feeling down, scared, or uneasy? When that emotion is present what negative tapes do you play in your head? What words do you use? Write them down then pause. Look at them with the eyes of compassion. Hold each word in your heart and when it’s time ask yourself why, where did these thoughts come from?

 Listen. Love. Heal.

 Set an intention to heal. Do the work. Break a cycle. Set yourself and future generations free.

 -Sandy Powers, Life Coach since 1998





To heal is to be reborn. Birth involves labor. Labor pries us open using its mighty force. All along the way we resist because of the pain. Our energy is depleted. Our mind and our feelings are in constant battle. What we know and how we feel seem they will never reconcile. Drained we doubt the process and ask ourselves, “Is this worth it? What am I doing?”

Peace and joy take work. Self-awareness shows us what to observe and question. If what we look at aligns with the quality of life we desire, okay, if not, the moment of intentional change presents itself.

Intentional change takes strong tools we believe in, tools that give us confidence. With strong tools in hand we jump off the cliff leaving what we’ve known and used for years, into the desire of a different life.

What are the tools we use to make it possible for intentional change? Whatever we’ve gathered to create the belief peace and joy are possible. It might include books we’ve read, stories we’ve heard from others who have gone through the process and now live a more peaceful and joyful life. It will include things we’ve identified that help us in the midst of stress, for instance, meditation, reflection, nature, silence, laughter, counselors, safe friends, support group, spiritual community, life coaches, doctors, and other healers of various kinds. Anything that has deepened our understanding and belief that peace and joy are possible becomes a tool for the healing process.

Energy management is essential. Self-awareness shows us where we use our energy. How we use it once we’re aware becomes a choice. Being drained doesn’t disappear during healing labor. We will be drained, but what drains is what we can change. Energy can be used like we’ve always used it, or used for our rebirth. Both are exhausting, but the later leads to a new outcome.

When we set an intention to heal it is because we know in the core of our being another way of living is possible. The commitment to the process is up to us. Some tire of the process and only make it so far, that’s okay. One day they will start again.

To reach our desired goal we will be drained. We won’t feel like we are making progress. We will feel depleted. But remember, feelings are temporary, they come and go like clouds on a windy day.

This is the process of retraining our mind. To do this we must do it again and again and again. It will take our focus, our energy, and our time. But there will be a day when the retraining stops because we have healed. The energy used by that painful part of our self will be set free.

When we heal our wounds peace and joy abound!

  • Sandy Powers, Life Coach